Lumber... Johnny!

Yep, the guy's name is Johnny, so... no Lumber Jack!


Today's joke:

A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one .... 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you." "It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father. "And cheap ones too."

Stihl

A tall but dead tree, several Stihl chain saws, two hard workers and an amateur photographer - me... that was the action scene!

Today's joke:

The preacher's, Sunday sermon was,"Forgive Your Enemies." He asked, how many have forgiven their enemies?
About half held up their hands.
He then repeated his question.
Now about 80 percent held up their hands.
He then repeated his question.
All responded, except one elderly lady.
- Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?
- I don't have any.
- Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?
- Ninety-three, she replied.
- Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world?
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, and said:
- It's easy, I just outlived those bitches!