Merry Christmas!

Wish y'all a Merry Christmas and lots and lots of gifts!

This is another moonshot (not moonshine!), postworked in PS...

Some short Xmas jokes:

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !

Who delivers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !

Galveston's Fishermen

An older shot from Galveston Island...

Today's joke:

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman:
- Give me sixdouble vodkas!
The barman says:
- Wow! You must have had one hell of a day!
- Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay.
The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back:
- I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said:
- Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?
- Yeah, my wife...

Paris Soir

It really was evening, so there's nothing related to the Parisian evening paper! Just been playing in my Photoshop... hope you gonna like it!

Luna

Luna (same meaning in Italian, Spanish and Romanian languages) means moon... so, here's the moon captured with my new 1300 mm lens... shot taken in Nashville, TN.

Today's joke:

Mary goes to a card reader:
- There are two guys who love me, but I can't marry both, so tell me please who's gonna be the lucky one? asks Mary.
The old woman reads the cards, the looks straight into Mary's eyes and says:
- The lucky one is Mike! You'll marry Jim!

Fishermen

Another shot from Galveston Island...

Today's joke:

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman:
- Give me sixdouble vodkas!
The barman says:
- Wow! You must have had one hell of a day!
- Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay.
The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back:
- I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said:
- Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?
- Yeah, my wife...

Fly High

This post is composed outta three pictures, the clouds while flying over Atlantic, the plane that actually was landing (I had to remove its landing gears), and the large Texas moon!


And now, ladies and gentlemen, the today's joke!

An worried father was waiting late in the night for his son. Finally he arrives home, and the father tells him:
- Where have been? Do you know what time it is?
- Dad, today I lost my virginity!
- Oh, but that's great! Let's have a seat and let's drink for the event! says his father
- We can have a drink, but I can't sit!

Road Closed

Just another manipulation using five different pictures, plus the help of PIP10!


And speaking about photography, I got a good one:

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut!

Full Moon

This shot was taken few days ago, here in Houston. Of course, the moon wasn't that big, so there comes the manipulation!


And here comes the joke of the day!

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.
Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side.
He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said:
- Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you!
The husband was thinking to himself: "Oh no, what has he done now?" and asked with some trepidation:
- Well, bro, what did you name them?
Whereupon, his brother replied:
- I named the little girl Denise!
The husband, relieved, said:
- That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?
The brother winked and replied:
- Denephew!