Happy New Year!

May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.
May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.
May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.
And may we live in a world at peace and with the awareness of God's love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.

Happy New Year, y'all!

Merry Christmas!

Wish y'all a Merry Christmas and lots and lots of gifts!

This is another moonshot (not moonshine!), postworked in PS...

Some short Xmas jokes:

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !

Who delivers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !

The Lighthouse of Port Huron

Shot taken few days ago while being in a short vacation in Michigan... of course, the shot was taken during the day...

Today's joke (not from Michigan, but Texas!):

IT'S SO DRY IN TEXAS...

That the Baptist are starting to baptize by sprinkling,
The Methodists are using wet-wipes,
Presbyterians are giving rain checks,
And the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

Just Flowers (for Liz)

Just learned from Schonee's post that soon it will be your B-day, so here I come along with my best wishes for you!

Today's joke:

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal.""That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

Empty Street

The main image was taken at Ameristar Casino in Kansas City, while the capture with the reddish sky is from Gallipolis, OH area. No other touches!

Now some more facts from Texas!

TEXAS HAS IT ALL Part 2

No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse , Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth , Texas 79031
We have a city named after our state
Texas City , Texas 77590

Exhausted?
Energy , Texas 76452
Pep , Texas 79353

Cold?
Blanket , Texas 76432
Winters, Texas

Like to read about History?
Santa Anna , Texas
Goliad , Texas
Alamo , Texas
Gun Barrel City , Texas
Robert Lee , Texas

Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670

Want to go into outer space?
Venus , Texas 76084
Mars , Texas 79062

You guessed it. It's on the state line.
Texline , Texas 79087

For the kids...
Kermit , Texas 79745
Elmo , Texas 75118
Nemo , Texas 76070
Tarzan , Texas 79783
Winnie , Texas 77665
Sylvester , Texas 79560

Other city names in Texas , to make you smile.......
Frognot , Texas 75424
Bigfoot , Texas 78005
Hogeye , Texas 75423
Cactus , Texas 79013
Notrees , Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest , Texas 76886
Kickapoo , Texas 75763
Dime Box , Texas 77853
Old Dime Box , Texas 77853
Telephone , Texas 75488
Telegraph , Texas 76883
Whiteface , Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079

And last but not least, the Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore , Texas 75662

And our favorites...
Cut n Shoot, Texas
Gun Barrell City , Texas
Hoop And Holler, Texas
Ding Dong, Texas
and, of course,
Muleshoe , Texas

Loredana (2)

Here's another shot from the Loredana's concert... of course, I did some work on it, as you can see!

Today's joke:

What's the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?
The optimist learn English, the pessimist learn Chinese!

Arizona 82

Just messing with another shot from Arizona, shot taken on state route 82. Yep, I'm still here!

Today's joke:

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns &Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant-sized dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in about an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait in your truck till I get back."

Chromo Cars

I was just tryin' to remove some cars from this image, when it came up to me the idea of changing all the cars into... chrome! The shot was taken in Engers, Germany.

Today's joke:

On his 77th birthday, Pete got a gift certificate from his wife Molly.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, Pete drove to the reservation and handed his gift certificate to the medicine man.
The medicine man produced a potion, handed it to Pete, and with a grip on his shoulder warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you will be able to perform as long as you want."
Pete was encouraged. As he walked away he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
The medicine man responded, "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
Eager to see if it would work, Pete went home, showered, shaved, took a teaspoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3". Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition...because we could end up with a dangling participle...

To Serve And Protect (2)

Shot taken in Denver, CO while taking a walk in downtown...

Today's jokes are about marriage:

A newly married man asked his wife:
"Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"


A wife asked her husband:
"What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
"I like your sense of humor!"

Nothing About Pleasantville

Well, I've choose this title 'cause it reminded me those scenes from "Pleasantville" when things turned into color from b/w...
I took this shot in Bonn, Germany...

Today's joke:

A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the Acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the Acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy."

Lesson: Never, ever, assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

Fisherman's Daughter (2)

Howdy from the frozen El Paso, Texas! Eh, not quite freezing, but it's coooold!
For today I got this mixture of three images, whic actually it's a redo of an older post... the girl which actually was sitting on a trampoline in the backyard and sticking her head through a hole in the net, while the background is from the Black Sea (Romania, as well as the boat, but from a different location...

Today's joke (thank you, Nedu!):

Any references to “blondes” is purely coincidental!

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them... He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Hellloooo,.............just because I'm blond doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him... There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up... He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

Blue Night

Redone (I made some little changes to the original version)

OK, here we go... this is another manipulation which actually I created it about a year ago, but I just did some little modifications to it... the bottom of the image is a real picture from Wyoming, while the top was created in my Photoshop.
Wish y'all a wonderful day!

Today's joke:

What says the woman:
- This place looks miserable! Let's clean it up together! All your things are laying on the floor and pretty soon you'll be naked if you don't wash your clothes right now!
What hears the man:
- Blah, blah, blah, LET'S, blah, blah, blah, TOGETHER, blah, blah, blah, LAYING ON THE FLOOR, blah, blah, blah, NAKED, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

Bran Castle

This is another manipulation, of course! As you can see on the lower image, which is actually the original shot, I captured the castle during the day (For those who don't know, the castle is located in the city of Bran, pretty close to Brasov, a large city from Romania... hope you gonna like it!


Now, have you ever thought of learning chinese? Well, here's your first lesson!

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes!!!


(Must Read Out Loud)


1) That's not right………………………….Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harbouring a fugitive…………..Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP…………………………Kum Hia

4) Stupid Man……………………………….Dum Gai

5) Small Horse………………………………Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach…………………Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped the coffee table……………….Ai Bang Mai Ni

8) I think you need a face lift………………..Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here……………………Wai So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet…………….Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone………………….No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week………WaiYu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight……………………..Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile……………Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive…………….Yu Stin Ki Pu

Solitude (2)

This is another shot from Galveston, but a fresh one... been over there last weekend!

Today no joking... I got a warning from a friend that lives in Germany, and I decided to share it with you... maybe some of you know already about this:

"Last week a friend of mine parked in a public parking lot. When he left the parking (driving his car, of course), he noticed there was a piece of paper on the rear window. When he picked it up (when he got home) he saw just a fuel receipt. Fortunately for him, one of his friends told him that he did the right thing not stopping right there on the parking lot, because someone was waiting for him to get out from the car.

This technique applies to both women and men. Watch for the papers stuck on your car's rear window, that's a new way to stealing a car (not joking!)

It's simple.
You go into a parking lot, you get in, start the engine and put in reverse while looking through the mirror to move your car, then you notice there's a paper stuck in the middle of the rear window. You stop, get out from your car to remove the paper (or whatever they put there) that blocks the view. When you get in the back of your car, the thief goes in your car, which unfortunately for you, has the engine runing, and leaves so fast, that practically you won't have time to react!
And ladies, guess what? I bet your purse is in the car. As well as your ID, money, credit cards, keys, etc. From that moment your home and your identity is compromised!

ATTENTION TO THIS NEW PROCEDURE.
If you see a paper stuck on the rear window, lock your doors, start the engine and go. You can remove the paper later!"

So, just be careful or you'll have the (unfortunate) chance to walk like the guy from my picture!

Cats Leave Paw Prints on Our Hearts

A mixture of several pictures, including the ones that some of you already know: Alley, Boots and Miss Kitty!

Today's joke:

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?"

Detroit

I took this shot from Windsor (Ontario), the only place where you can get a real good view over Detroit downtown.

Today's joke:

There were two golfers on the golf course. One of the men pulled out a cigarette, and asked his friend for a light. His friend pulls out a 12 inch Bic lighter.
- "Woah, where did you get such a large Bic?"
- "Oh, my genie got it for me."
- "Your genie? You have a genie? Where is he?"
- "He is in my golf bag."
- "Can I see him?"
So the friend looks in the bag and out comes the genie. The man says to the genie; "I am your master's best friend. Would you grant me just one wish?"
The genie says "yes, just one wish". So the man wishes for a million bucks. The genie goes back in the golf bag without saying a word. Pretty soon, the sky starts to get dark. Then it gets even darker. The man looks up and sees a million ducks. He gets real upset, and says:
- Wwhat is the matter with your genie? Is he hard of hearing? I said a million Bucks, not a million Ducks."
- "Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch Bic?"

Autumn Afternoon

This is another manipulation... the trees are actually located along the freeway I-75 in Michigan, just north of Bay City, while the shot with the river is from Frankenmuth, same state but taken in summertime.

Today's joke:

WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

Paris Soir

It really was evening, so there's nothing related to the Parisian evening paper! Just been playing in my Photoshop... hope you gonna like it!

Smoking Hot

Same engine as the one I've posted yesterday, but from a different angle, and of course another manipulation!

Today's joke:

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
- Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey! said the daughter.
- Did it not taste good? her mother asked.
- I don't know, the blonde said. It wouldn't sit still!

Survivor

An engine train from the 19th century, a street and a bulding, all these three subjects are from Galveston, TX. The image is a manipulation, there are no trains running on the Galveston streets, but only historical tramways!

Today's joke:

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver:
- What's that building there?
- That's the Royal York Hotel, replied the cabbie.
- The Royal York? How long did it take to build that? asked the Texan.
- About 12 years" replied the cabbie.
- 12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months.
A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre.
- What's that building over there? asked the Texan.
- That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre, replied the cabbie.
- Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that? asked the Texan.
- About three years, replied the cabbie.
- Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only takes us about two weeks!
Shortly thereafter the cabbie drives past the CN Tower.
- What's that building there? asks the Texan, pointing at the tower.
- Danged if I know, replied the cabbie, It wasn't here when I drove by yesterday!