Walk

A walk on the Galveston beach

Today's joke:

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it.
"This is the Hoelzen diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
"Mr. Hoelzen."

Arrival

Another sunrise shot from the island of Galveston...

Today's joke:

A blonde teenage girl, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
'Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,' he said.
'How much will you charge me?'
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, 'How about $50?'
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the Conversation said to her husband, 'Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?'
He responded, 'That's a bit cynical, isn't it?'
The wife replied, 'You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes.
Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
'You're finished already?' the startled husband asked.
'Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.'
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.
'And by the way,' the blonde added, 'it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus.'

Follow the Red Sun

A colorful sunrise in Galveston (where else!), shot taken about a week ago...

Today's joke:

A guy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars wort h of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living -- or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep........
Now give me back my dog!

Runner

Shot taken Sunday, in Galveston. I went down there with my brother and some friends to have some fun, but with all the traffic and heat, I lost my appetite for any kind of fun. As a matter of fact I've never seen before such a traffic in that area as it was on that day... but anyway, let's get back to the picture. For those who know the area, they know the water cannot be that blue, but brownie, so I had to make it look like a real water... hope it worked!

And some facts from Texas!

TEXAS HAS IT ALL Part 1

Feeling a litle Down?- Why not Visit
Smiley , Texas 78159
Paradise , Texas 76073
Rainbow , Texas 76077
Sweet Home , Texas 77987
Comfort , Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the Sun?
Sun City , Texas 78628
Sunrise , Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray , Texas 79086
Sunny Side , Texas 77423

Want something to eat?
Bacon , Texas 76301
Noodle , Texas 79536
Oatmeal , Texas 78605
Turkey , Texas 79261
Trout , Texas 75789
Sugar Land , Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice , Texas 75155
Pearland , Texas 77581
Orange , Texas 77630
And top it off with:
Sweetwater , Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit , Texas 75436
Cleveland , Texas 75436
Colorado City , Texas 79512
Denver City , Texas 79323
Klondike , Texas 75448
Nevada , Texas 75173
Memphis , Texas 79245
Miami , Texas 79059
Boston , Texas 75570
Santa Fe , Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony , Texas 75861
Reno , Texas 75462
Pasadena , Texas 77506
Columbus , Texas 78934
Feel like traveling outside the country?
Athens , Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China , Texas 77613
Egypt , Texas 77436
Ireland , Texas 76538
Italy , Texas 76538
Turkey , Texas 79261
London , Texas 76854
New London , Texas 75682
Paris , Texas 75460
Palestine , Texas 75801
Roma, Texas 78584

Solitude (2)

This is another shot from Galveston, but a fresh one... been over there last weekend!

Today no joking... I got a warning from a friend that lives in Germany, and I decided to share it with you... maybe some of you know already about this:

"Last week a friend of mine parked in a public parking lot. When he left the parking (driving his car, of course), he noticed there was a piece of paper on the rear window. When he picked it up (when he got home) he saw just a fuel receipt. Fortunately for him, one of his friends told him that he did the right thing not stopping right there on the parking lot, because someone was waiting for him to get out from the car.

This technique applies to both women and men. Watch for the papers stuck on your car's rear window, that's a new way to stealing a car (not joking!)

It's simple.
You go into a parking lot, you get in, start the engine and put in reverse while looking through the mirror to move your car, then you notice there's a paper stuck in the middle of the rear window. You stop, get out from your car to remove the paper (or whatever they put there) that blocks the view. When you get in the back of your car, the thief goes in your car, which unfortunately for you, has the engine runing, and leaves so fast, that practically you won't have time to react!
And ladies, guess what? I bet your purse is in the car. As well as your ID, money, credit cards, keys, etc. From that moment your home and your identity is compromised!

ATTENTION TO THIS NEW PROCEDURE.
If you see a paper stuck on the rear window, lock your doors, start the engine and go. You can remove the paper later!"

So, just be careful or you'll have the (unfortunate) chance to walk like the guy from my picture!

Smoking Hot (2)

That's an old engine from Galveston Rail Museum (some of you know already this work), kinda too oldie and forgotten... they still rebuild or repair the Museum after the Ike's devastation, as well as they work on those old tramways... the weather was pretty nice today, so I took a trip to the ocean, so I just checked today the "situation" in town, and the result is nothing new...

Today's joke:

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
- Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey! said the daughter.
- Did it not taste good? her mother asked.
- I don't know, the blonde said. It wouldn't sit still!

Galveston's Fishermen

An older shot from Galveston Island...

Today's joke:

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman:
- Give me sixdouble vodkas!
The barman says:
- Wow! You must have had one hell of a day!
- Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay.
The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back:
- I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said:
- Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?
- Yeah, my wife...

Sacred Heart

Sacred Heart Catholic Church from Galveston, TX

Fresh Air From the Past

Shot taken in Galveston, TX

Rough Sea

A shot from Galveston, the day when the ocean was really rough...

Today's joke:

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.
I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.
I played and I played like I'd never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest . As I played the workers began to weep. I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another...
"Sweet Jaysus, Mary 'n Joseph, I have never seen nothin' like that before and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for 22 years."

Following the Sun

It's not a sunflower, but it was following the sun... shot taken in Galveston, TX

Update: Well, I guess I was wrong about this flower... actually it is a sort of sunflower, kinda miniature... it's been confirmed by a real florist!


An African immigrant, just after being recognized his legal status as legal resident in Germany, he started walking on the sidewalks of his new hometown. Soon he sees another walker and he starts talking to him:
- Thank you, dear German fella, thank you for accepting me in your beautiful country, for offering me help, home and welfare!
The walker says:
- You're wrong, buddy! I'm Albanian, not German!
The African keeps walking further and soon meets another walker.
- Thank you for accepting me in your beautiful Germany! says the African.
The guy stares for a second to the African, and tells him;
- I'm sorry, but I'm not German, I'm Bosnian!
Then he sees another guy, and tells him the same thing as he did with previously two guys.
- I'm sorry dude, but I'm not German, I'm Russian!
Kinda disappointed, the African keeps walking, then he sees an old woman passing by. He stops her and asks her:
- Excuse me, madam, are you German?
- No, answers the old woman, I'm Turkish!
Wondering what's going on, he asks her another question:
- But woman, where in the world are these Germans?
The old woman checks her handwatch and answers:
- They're for sure at work!

Fishermen

Another shot from Galveston Island...

Today's joke:

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman:
- Give me sixdouble vodkas!
The barman says:
- Wow! You must have had one hell of a day!
- Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay.
The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back:
- I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said:
- Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?
- Yeah, my wife...

Smoking Hot

Same engine as the one I've posted yesterday, but from a different angle, and of course another manipulation!

Today's joke:

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
- Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey! said the daughter.
- Did it not taste good? her mother asked.
- I don't know, the blonde said. It wouldn't sit still!

Survivor

An engine train from the 19th century, a street and a bulding, all these three subjects are from Galveston, TX. The image is a manipulation, there are no trains running on the Galveston streets, but only historical tramways!

Today's joke:

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver:
- What's that building there?
- That's the Royal York Hotel, replied the cabbie.
- The Royal York? How long did it take to build that? asked the Texan.
- About 12 years" replied the cabbie.
- 12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months.
A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre.
- What's that building over there? asked the Texan.
- That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre, replied the cabbie.
- Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that? asked the Texan.
- About three years, replied the cabbie.
- Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only takes us about two weeks!
Shortly thereafter the cabbie drives past the CN Tower.
- What's that building there? asks the Texan, pointing at the tower.
- Danged if I know, replied the cabbie, It wasn't here when I drove by yesterday!

Houston, we got a pelican!

He was flying low, by the "Colonel", as well as many, many seagulls... the difference between him and his flying mates was that he didn't like to be captured in pictures, while for the seagulls the only thing that really mattered was the food!

Today's joke:

A tale is told about a small town that had historically been "dry," but then a local businessman decided to build a tavern. A group of Christians from a local church were concerned and planned an all-night prayer meeting to ask God to intervene.
It just so happened that shortly thereafter lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.
The owner of the bar sued the church, claiming that the prayers of the congregation were responsible, but the church hired a lawyer to argue in court that they were not responsible.
The presiding judge, after his initial review of the case, stated that "no matter how this case comes out, one thing is clear: The tavern owner believes in prayer and the Christians do not!"

The Colonel

Here's the elegance and romance of the paddlewheel from a bygone era aboard the Colonel, a triple deck sternwheeler. They say she can hold 750 passengers, which makes her one of the largest paddlewheelers that has ever cruised the Houston - Galveston area. I didn't find any historic page about the Colonel, 'cause I was wondering about the year when this beauty was built.

Today's joke:

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
- Heavens no, we bought it!
- Then why don't you drive it away? asks the cop.
- We can't drive...
- Then why did you buy it? he asked.
- We were told that if we bought a car here we'd get screwed ... so we're just waiting!!!

The Race Is On!

I didn't check the water's temperature, but I guess it was acceptable... there were some guys swimming, surfing, and as you see from this image, dog racing!

Speaking about dogs, here is the today's joke:

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes around the house and into the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there.
- You talk? he asks.
- Yep, the Lab replies.
- So, what's your story?
The Lab looks up and says:
- Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired!
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
- Ten dollars, says the owner.
The guy says:
- This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?
- Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!

The Pyramids of Galveston

Shot taken today in Galveston... those pyramids belong to the Moody Gardens and they are hosting inside an aquarium (the blue one), exotic plants (the clear one) and butterflies (the reddish one).

Today's joke:

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
- Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
- Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes, the man replied, still in pain, in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked:
- How does that feel?"
He replied:
- It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell.