Young & Innocent

I've been visiting some relatives today, and one of my nieces was playing with her brand new friends, two kittens, and one of 'em is right here!

Today's joke:

Granddad was reminiscing about the good old days...

"When I were a lad, Momma would send me down to t'corner store wi' a dollar, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs. Yer can't do that now. Too many damm security cameras."

Oh no, not you again!

Hello everyone!
I took this shot about the same day when I captured that little green fella, and as you can see, Alley and Boots were sooo happy to meet my camera!!!
Wish y'all a wonderful day!

Here's another joke, well, it's not about cats but their enemies, the dogs!

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked:
- Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?
Father Patrick replied:
- I'm afraid not, we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature!
Muldoon said:
- I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?
Father Patrick exclaimed:
- Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

Sadness

This one is the last picture from the Detroit Zoo mini-series I intended to post. Of course I got more, but it's time for a change... hmm, where did I hear that "change" word before... hehe...

And yes, here's another joke, somehow related to the one posted earlier...

Benny goes to his father and tells him:
- Dad, I love Juan!
His father, stunned when he hears that, says:
- But son, that's not right...
- Dad, I love Juan and I wanna marry him! insists Benny.
- But son, that's totally wrong...
- What makes you believe that? asks Benny
- Juan is mexican!

The Bambi Band

Hello everyone!
Many thanks for your comments on my lazy lioness (not a tigress, as some of you thought)!
I got here a bunch of bambies (that's the way the professional drivers are calling a deer!)

Of course, I got a new joke!

Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand.
After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells:
- I thought I told you to be quiet!
Jerry says:
- Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said "Should we take them with us or eat them here?" I couldn't keep quiet any more!

Where's the Room Service?

Here's another shot from Detroit Zoo... she was kinda a far from visitors, and didn't have any intention to come any closer...


And now a short farm story:

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
- Not yet, said the little boy.
His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
- How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal? he asks.
- Well, his mother says, I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so, for a week you aren't getting any milk!
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says:
- Are you going to tell him, or should I?

Next in line, please!

I got here this huge bear, who seems to seat at the front desk, waiting for customers!



Got some shorties about retirement...

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest

I'll Hold It For You!

From here I'll start to post a mini-series of pictures taken at the Detroit Zoo. Hope you gonna like 'em as well!

And now another joke about marriage...

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says:
- Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you!
The old man says without hesitation:
- I now pronounce you man and wife!

And related to marriages, but a different kind of marriage:

The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed...