Walk

A walk on the Galveston beach

Today's joke:

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it.
"This is the Hoelzen diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
"Mr. Hoelzen."

Follow the Red Sun

A colorful sunrise in Galveston (where else!), shot taken about a week ago...

Today's joke:

A guy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars wort h of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living -- or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep........
Now give me back my dog!

Runner

Shot taken Sunday, in Galveston. I went down there with my brother and some friends to have some fun, but with all the traffic and heat, I lost my appetite for any kind of fun. As a matter of fact I've never seen before such a traffic in that area as it was on that day... but anyway, let's get back to the picture. For those who know the area, they know the water cannot be that blue, but brownie, so I had to make it look like a real water... hope it worked!

And some facts from Texas!

TEXAS HAS IT ALL Part 1

Feeling a litle Down?- Why not Visit
Smiley , Texas 78159
Paradise , Texas 76073
Rainbow , Texas 76077
Sweet Home , Texas 77987
Comfort , Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the Sun?
Sun City , Texas 78628
Sunrise , Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray , Texas 79086
Sunny Side , Texas 77423

Want something to eat?
Bacon , Texas 76301
Noodle , Texas 79536
Oatmeal , Texas 78605
Turkey , Texas 79261
Trout , Texas 75789
Sugar Land , Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice , Texas 75155
Pearland , Texas 77581
Orange , Texas 77630
And top it off with:
Sweetwater , Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit , Texas 75436
Cleveland , Texas 75436
Colorado City , Texas 79512
Denver City , Texas 79323
Klondike , Texas 75448
Nevada , Texas 75173
Memphis , Texas 79245
Miami , Texas 79059
Boston , Texas 75570
Santa Fe , Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony , Texas 75861
Reno , Texas 75462
Pasadena , Texas 77506
Columbus , Texas 78934
Feel like traveling outside the country?
Athens , Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China , Texas 77613
Egypt , Texas 77436
Ireland , Texas 76538
Italy , Texas 76538
Turkey , Texas 79261
London , Texas 76854
New London , Texas 75682
Paris , Texas 75460
Palestine , Texas 75801
Roma, Texas 78584

Between the Lines

Hmm, I don't know which one to say it's the original shot, 'cause there are two halves! Well, I'd start with the sea, the shot was taken in the bay of Shore Acres, TX while the clouds are "Made In Indiana" (uff, finally something not made in China!!!). Yes, the boat was right there, just had to remove other three boats... parol d'honeur, I didn't sink 'em!

Today's joke is from Georgia, where actually I am right now:

A young man from Georgia came running in the restaurant and said to his buddy:
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied:
"Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered:
"I couldn't tell, but I got the license number..."

Freezing

It was sunny, but freezing... it was the next day after those two inches of fallen snow in Houston...
Shot taken on Dec. 5th in Shoreacres, TX

Today's joke... well, it has to be a joke! Just got it from a friend... a Chicagoan friend...

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN)
for 6 am. While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)
was perking, he shaved with his electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)
he put on a dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA)
designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)
to see how much he could spend today.
After setting his watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN)
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA)
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY)
filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia )
and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer
(MADE in MALAYSIA)
, John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL)
, poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA)
, and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA
AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT
(MADE IN KENYA)

Rough Sea

A shot from Galveston, the day when the ocean was really rough...

Today's joke:

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.
I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.
I played and I played like I'd never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest . As I played the workers began to weep. I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another...
"Sweet Jaysus, Mary 'n Joseph, I have never seen nothin' like that before and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for 22 years."

Fishermen

Another shot from Galveston Island...

Today's joke:

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman:
- Give me sixdouble vodkas!
The barman says:
- Wow! You must have had one hell of a day!
- Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay.
The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back:
- I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said:
- Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?
- Yeah, my wife...

The Race Is On!

I didn't check the water's temperature, but I guess it was acceptable... there were some guys swimming, surfing, and as you see from this image, dog racing!

Speaking about dogs, here is the today's joke:

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes around the house and into the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there.
- You talk? he asks.
- Yep, the Lab replies.
- So, what's your story?
The Lab looks up and says:
- Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired!
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
- Ten dollars, says the owner.
The guy says:
- This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?
- Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!