Just Flowers (for Liz)

Just learned from Schonee's post that soon it will be your B-day, so here I come along with my best wishes for you!

Today's joke:

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal.""That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

Forever Yours

REPOSTED

Shot taken in November '08, by the Lake St. Clair (Michigan)

And now a joke about the same subject...

A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says:
- Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together!
- I know, the old man said, we were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago...
- Well, Granny snickered, let's relive some old times!
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
- You know honey, the little old lady breathlessly replied, my nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago!
- I wouldn't be surprised, replied her husband, one's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!

Vanilla

This one is my very first e-card using this style with the colored rectangle on its right side. I really proud of what I created, it was that kind of love at first sight... til others came out of my photoshop! Hope you'll like it too!
Wish y'all a wonderful day!

Happy New Year 2010!

I wish to thank y'all for being always around me, watching my work, and most of all, supporting my work with your kind comments!
Best wishes for 2010!
Happy New Year!

Pink'n'blu

Have y'all a pleasant weekend!

Dreaming of Springtime

Every day is getting colder and colder, even right here in Houston. The meteorologist promised us some white stuff for tomorrow... I just hope he is wrong!

Today's joke:

The teacher asks the first graders what do they know about medication, if they know some drugs and what are they for.
First one to answer is Tommy. He says "Advil".
- Excellent, Tommy! says the teacher. Do you know what's that for?
- For cold and headache, answers the kid.
- Very good, Tommy! how about you, Mike? continues the teacher.
- Robitussin, says Mike.
- Good choice, Mike! And what's that for?
- For cough, answers Mike.
- Very good, Mike! says the teacher again. How about you, Johnny?
- Viagra, says little Johnny.
- Gosh, says the teacher, you amaze me, Johnny! Where in the world did you hear about this and if you mentioned it, what's that for?
- It's for diarrhea!
- Johnny, who told you it is for that?
- I heard my mom telling my father "why don't you get a Viagra, maybe that piece of s*it will harden!

No honey bunny

Yes, I know... the winter is near! But not in southern Texas!

Today's joke:

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin:
"Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think

Orchids

Hope you gonna like this one too... :D

Red Rose of Texas

Dedicated to everyone who visits this blog! I know, some of you will say "hey, it's supposed to be yellow rose of Texas", but this is it, it's red and it's from Texas!

Today's joke:

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other:
"Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday..."
And the third man chimed in:
"So am I. Let's have a beer."

Chrysanthemum

Seasonal shot...

Today's joke:

Two neighbors were having a conversation:
- John, may I use your lawnmower?
- Sure, as long as you don't take it out of my backyard!

Before fall comes

Shot taken two months ago... and of course, postworked!

Red Lillies

A shot taken minutes after the rain stopped...

Today's joke:

-The swimming is not allowed here, says a cop to a civilian who was nearby a lake.
-OK, OK, answers the civilian. I don't want to swim, but to drown myself...
-Then you're lucky, otherwise I'd fine you!

Natural Colors

I took this shot in my cousin's backyard while being in Michigan few days ago.

Today's joke:

Norman and his blonde wife life in Fargo. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say:
"We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the
even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through".
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later, while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says:
"We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today, you must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snow- plow can get through.".
So, Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
The next week they are having breakfast again and the radio announcer says:
"We are expecting 10 -12 inches of snow today, you must park..." then the electricity goes out. Norman's wife says:
"Honey, I don't know what to do..."
Norman says:
"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Warm Rooi

Vir vandag probeer ek 'n bietjie eksperimenteer, net om jou reaksies te sien! Wel, hier gaan ons ... Ek gebruik 'n ander taal en ek wonder of jy weet watter een ... het 'n raai! Hierdie foto is in die agterplaas geneem, was baie blomme van hierdie aard, en natuurlik, verskillende kleure. Dankie vir die besoek!

Field Thistle

While I was pumping gas to my car, I saw these beautiful field thistles and I'm sure you realize what was the next move... that's another shot from Virginia.

Today's joke is from a french friend:

L'institutrice fait l'appel:
- Ben Larbi ?
- Présent !
- Ben Youssef ?
- Présent !
- Ben Ali ?
- Présent !
- Ben Kahoul ?
- Présent !
- Ben Mahmound ?
- Présent !
- Ben Oît ?
Pas de réponse.
- Ben Oît ?
Alors un petit garçon blond dit timidement :
- Je m'appelle Benoît, madame...

And translated:

The teacher checks the students presence:
- Ben Larbi?
- Present!
- Ben Youssef?
- Present!
- Ben Ali?
- Present!
- Ben Kahoul?
- Present!
- Ben Mahmound?
- Present!
- Ben Oit?
No response.
- Ben Oit?
Then a little blond boy said shyly
- My name is Benoit, Madame ...

Ready For Landing

A landing bee... another shot from the sunny Texas!

Today's joke:

Two countrymen and their dog are coming to town and they're tryin' to enter into a store, but the security guy tells 'em:
-Sorry, but pets are not allowed inside.
-Well Johnny, you go inside, says one of them, me and Spike will wait outside.

Blooming Chestnut

A blooming chestnut - see it in full size!

The Connection

Another shot from the sunny Houston - if the label was right, this is some sort of tropical flower from Africa

Following the Sun

It's not a sunflower, but it was following the sun... shot taken in Galveston, TX

Update: Well, I guess I was wrong about this flower... actually it is a sort of sunflower, kinda miniature... it's been confirmed by a real florist!


An African immigrant, just after being recognized his legal status as legal resident in Germany, he started walking on the sidewalks of his new hometown. Soon he sees another walker and he starts talking to him:
- Thank you, dear German fella, thank you for accepting me in your beautiful country, for offering me help, home and welfare!
The walker says:
- You're wrong, buddy! I'm Albanian, not German!
The African keeps walking further and soon meets another walker.
- Thank you for accepting me in your beautiful Germany! says the African.
The guy stares for a second to the African, and tells him;
- I'm sorry, but I'm not German, I'm Bosnian!
Then he sees another guy, and tells him the same thing as he did with previously two guys.
- I'm sorry dude, but I'm not German, I'm Russian!
Kinda disappointed, the African keeps walking, then he sees an old woman passing by. He stops her and asks her:
- Excuse me, madam, are you German?
- No, answers the old woman, I'm Turkish!
Wondering what's going on, he asks her another question:
- But woman, where in the world are these Germans?
The old woman checks her handwatch and answers:
- They're for sure at work!

Rainy Day

Yeasterday was a very stinky day... been raining almost all day long, giving you the feeling that autumn is near, not the summer...

Today's joke:

Goldie, a recently widowed lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him:
- Hello, sir, how are you?
- Fine, thank you, he responded, and turned back to his book.
- I love the beach. Do you come here often? she asked.
- First time since my wife passed away last year, he replied.
- Do you live around here? she asked.
- Yes, he answered, continuing to read.
Goldie persisted:
- Do you like pussy cats?
With that, he threw his book down, jumped off his blanket on to hers, tore off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!
As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man:
- How did you know that was what I wanted?
The man replied:
- How did you know my name was Katz?