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Here are some shots from San Antonio, TX - maybe you've guessed already, I took 'em while driving...



Today's joke:

Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Bill asks:
- Son, what happened last night?
His son says:
- Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door!
Confused, Bill asks:
- So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
His son replies:
- Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm a married man!

Forever Orange

A shot taken during the halftime break at the Robertson Stadium. Postworked with PIP10

Today's joke:

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, old retired golfer in his late 60's and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them:
- I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?
The girl says:
- I'll go first!
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The Circus Owners jaw is on the floor... He says:
- I've never seen a display like that in my life.
He then turns to the retired golfer and asks:
- Can you top that?
The tough old golfer replies:
- No problem, just get that damn lion out of the way!

Strange bug

I just found this strange bug in the backyard, and I can't figure out what kind of insect it might be... any ideas?

Today's joke:

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.
The woman asked the gentlemen:
- What do you do to get your tomatoes red?
The gentlemen responded:
- Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much.
The woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman:
- How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?
- No, she replied, but my cucumbers are enormous!

Jumper

For today I couldn't pick one out of these two images, so finally I've decided to upload 'em both!
The shot is from the sunday's football game Houston Dynamo vs Colorado Rapids (final score 1-0 for Dynamo)

Today's joke:

FAX: To My Dear Wife,

"You will surely understand that I have certain needs that being with a 54-year old you can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this fax, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be perturbed I shall be back home before midnight".

When the man came home, he found the following letter on the dining room table. "My Dear Husband, I received your fax and thank you for your honesty. I too am very happy with you and value you as a good husband. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, my tennis coach, who like your secretary is also 18 years old.
As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference. 18 goes into 54 more often than 54 goes into 18. Therefore I will not be back until lunchtime tomorrow".

The Yellow Star

No more flowers from the backyard... but from the front yard! I don't know its name, but it looks awesome!

Today's joke:

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window:
- I want to open a damn checking account in this shitty bank!
The astonished woman replies:
- I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?
- Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!
- I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank.
So without saying anything, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation.
They both return and the manager asks the old geezer:
- What seems to be the problem here?
- There's no problem, dammit! the man says, I just won $50 million in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this shitty bank!
- I see, says the manager excitedly, and this bitch is giving you a hard time?

The Pro

A professional photographer taking shots during the Dynamo - Red Bulls soccer game.

Today's joke:

An old Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed:
- Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.
- But grandpa, I really don't lika guns, says his grandson. Howz about you leava me your Rolex watch instead?
- Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business... you gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos. Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then... pointa to your watch and say 'Times up'?

The Look

"Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer!"

Oh well, I didn't fall for her, but I was just listening this song while I was working on this image! You may want to listen it too by clicking here!

Mr. Big Mouth

This is one of the shots that I took yesterday at Kemah, Texas - a place that I'd call "Pelicans Heaven"!

Today's joke

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly:
"So which ten items would you like to buy?"

Autumnal Bouquet

Here's another electronic painting, using a different software than the one I used for the yesterday's upload.

Today's joke:

Call at 911 in the middle of the night:
"Hello, help! Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone. "Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window!"
"This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department."
"No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!"

Lake St. Clair

Lake St. Clair - New Baltimore, MI
I had to remove from the image an old lady and her beach towel who was sitting right in the middle of the image, then I added the painting effect to the picture.

Today's joke:

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him In the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on For some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books.. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an 'A' in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said:
- Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?
Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.
- Well, then, she replied, was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?
Little Zachary looked at her and said:
- Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around!

George Washington

George Washington's statue in front of the Capitol, Columbia, SC.
Transformed b/w and worked on sky's color...

Today's joke:

I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. I figured the best way to get the Boss to send me home was to act a little crazy, thinking he'd think I was burning out and give me some time off.
I came in to work early the next day and began hanging upside down from the ceiling. Just then one of my coworkers (she's blonde - it'll be important later) came in and asked me what I was doing.
- Shh, I said, I'm acting crazy to get a few days off. I'm a light bulb!
A second later the Boss walked by and asked me what I was doing.
"I'm a light bulb!" I exclaimed.
- You're going crazy, he said. Take a few days off!
With that, I jumped down and started walking out.

My blonde coworker started following me and the Boss asked where she was going.
- I can't work in the dark, she said.

Houston, we got a pelican!

He was flying low, by the "Colonel", as well as many, many seagulls... the difference between him and his flying mates was that he didn't like to be captured in pictures, while for the seagulls the only thing that really mattered was the food!

Today's joke:

A tale is told about a small town that had historically been "dry," but then a local businessman decided to build a tavern. A group of Christians from a local church were concerned and planned an all-night prayer meeting to ask God to intervene.
It just so happened that shortly thereafter lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.
The owner of the bar sued the church, claiming that the prayers of the congregation were responsible, but the church hired a lawyer to argue in court that they were not responsible.
The presiding judge, after his initial review of the case, stated that "no matter how this case comes out, one thing is clear: The tavern owner believes in prayer and the Christians do not!"

The Colonel

Here's the elegance and romance of the paddlewheel from a bygone era aboard the Colonel, a triple deck sternwheeler. They say she can hold 750 passengers, which makes her one of the largest paddlewheelers that has ever cruised the Houston - Galveston area. I didn't find any historic page about the Colonel, 'cause I was wondering about the year when this beauty was built.

Today's joke:

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
- Heavens no, we bought it!
- Then why don't you drive it away? asks the cop.
- We can't drive...
- Then why did you buy it? he asked.
- We were told that if we bought a car here we'd get screwed ... so we're just waiting!!!

The Race Is On!

I didn't check the water's temperature, but I guess it was acceptable... there were some guys swimming, surfing, and as you see from this image, dog racing!

Speaking about dogs, here is the today's joke:

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes around the house and into the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there.
- You talk? he asks.
- Yep, the Lab replies.
- So, what's your story?
The Lab looks up and says:
- Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired!
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
- Ten dollars, says the owner.
The guy says:
- This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?
- Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!

The Pyramids of Galveston

Shot taken today in Galveston... those pyramids belong to the Moody Gardens and they are hosting inside an aquarium (the blue one), exotic plants (the clear one) and butterflies (the reddish one).

Today's joke:

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
- Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
- Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes, the man replied, still in pain, in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked:
- How does that feel?"
He replied:
- It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell.

Loredana

The romanian pop singer Loredana performing "live" in Central Plaza - Sibiu (Hermannstadt), Romania on December 30th, 2007. Even if there was a killer cold weather outside, the plaza was fully crowded (the concert was free). Unfortunately I couldn't come any closer to the stage, so when I took this shot I was about 50 meters (150 ft) away from her. Hope one of these days I'll come up with more shots from that magical night... til then, here's another joke!


An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked:
- Are you a real cowboy?
He replied:
- Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am!
She said:
- I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. As I watch TV, or even eat, I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women!
The two sat sipping in silence. A short time later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked:
- Are you a real cowboy?
The old cowboy replied:
- I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian!


Speaking about music, here's my newest video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRKY_R2vIeQ&feature=channel_page

Flowers from the Backyard (5)

Another close-up with these unknown flowers!

Today's joke:

Two arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt.
- If you do not mind me saying, said the second, that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?
- I regret I cannot, lamented the first terrorist. It is permanently stuck in my butt.
- I do not understand, said the other one.
The first terrorist says:
- I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out and he said:
- I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish!
And I said:
- No sh*t?

The Cover

Hello everyone! Today I decided to post the covers project of my book that I'll publish sometimes in June. I asked already for some opinions about this design, but I'd love to hear your opinion too. For the back cover I made a version in english (the book will be published in romanian language), just to make sure y'all understand what's written on it! Thank you for stopping by!

Flowers from the Backyard (4)

An after rain shot from yesterday morning.... I'm not too happy about this shot, but it's part of the flowers from the backyard!

Today's joke:

Mildred was a 93-year-old woman, particularly despondent over the death of her husband, Earl. She decided she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman.
The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee...