Thursday, November 5, 2009

Living under snow



Winter is near, so be prepared for the worse!
About this shot, it was taken in the village of Arieseni, Romania. As I mentioned in some of my previous posts, that's a very beautiful area for those who love winter games, winter views and fresh but cold air!

Today's joke:

25 signs you've grown up:
Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you!!!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Autumn in Midwest III



Autumnal view from the City of Belton, Missouri (that's just south of Kansas City).

Today's joke:

Two women are chatting:
-Yesterday my doctor told me I'm pregnant...
-Cool! And who's the father?
-That what he couldn't tell me...

Autumn in Midwest II



A small hill by freeway I-29 in Missouri.

Autumn in Midwest I



A country road in Iowa.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Me... in her sunglasses!



The winter is coming, but I'm still dreaming of hot summer beaches!

Today's joke:

Mary's bedtime pray:
- God, please make somehow that London to be Denmark's Capital because that's what I wrote on my exam!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Red Lillies



A shot taken minutes after the rain stopped...

Today's joke:

-The swimming is not allowed here, says a cop to a civilian who was nearby a lake.
-OK, OK, answers the civilian. I don't want to swim, but to drown myself...
-Then you're lucky, otherwise I'd fine you!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Clock Fruits



Of course there's no such a fruit or plant, but the rear-end of these poke weed berries (lat. phytolacca americana) looks like a clock... Well, somehow they are related to the time if you try to eat them: they're dangerously poisonous!

Today's joke:

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in her Catholic School.
Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
"Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"
When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class. A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret:
"Who is our Lord and Savior?"
But she didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, little Johnny came to the rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the Nun once again said "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question:
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted:
"If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

Friday, October 30, 2009

Autumn Afternoon



This is another manipulation... the trees are actually located along the freeway I-75 in Michigan, just north of Bay City, while the shot with the river is from Frankenmuth, same state but taken in summertime.

Today's joke:

WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Balloon Girl



Shot taken in a really freezing night in the City of Sibiu (aka Hermannstadt).

Today's joke:

Did you know that while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, according to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost......

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Crystal Clear



I've checked it out, it's clear, it's cold, it's just perfect for a hot sunny day! Don't try it during the winter!
Shot taken in the neighborhood of the Moeciu Village, Romania

Today's joke:

A Prayer for daddy

"Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer,
Amen."

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Paris Soir



It really was evening, so there's nothing related to the Parisian evening paper! Just been playing in my Photoshop... hope you gonna like it!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Insects of the South



I've selected these two pics for today, a butterfly captured in Tennessee and that ugly spider, which from what I've learned it's a wolf-spider, a female that carries her babies on her back...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Toppings



Another old shot from the City of Sibiu - aka Hermannstadt - (the old side of the city), Romania.
Hmm, two months ago I met a German couple in Harlingen, TX... they were traveling by their own RV brought from Germany (registered in Germany), which RV was broke down. They asked me for help, initially they thought it's the battery and a jump start will do it, but it wasn't that simple, so I gave 'em my cell to call ADAC (German version of AAA) for help... well, finally the problem was fixed after hours of waiting and lots of calls. Anyways, what I wanted to say, this German guy, Raymund, told me that he visited Sibiu and he founded a really pleasant city, but before visiting it, he was warned that there are Romanians that live underground by the roads, and as soon as they see some foreigners, they attack (robbery)!!! The minute I heard that, I laughed but then I realized how the things work when you don't want tourists to go somewhere else, especially when it's about East...

Today's joke:

Q: It is true that Czechoslovakia asked USSR for help?
A: Yes, it's true! They requested it in 1939 and the approval came in 1968!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Luna


Luna (same meaning in Italian, Spanish and Romanian languages) means moon... so, here's the moon captured with my new 1300 mm lens... shot taken in Nashville, TN.

Today's joke:

Mary goes to a card reader:
- There are two guys who love me, but I can't marry both, so tell me please who's gonna be the lucky one? asks Mary.
The old woman reads the cards, the looks straight into Mary's eyes and says:
- The lucky one is Mike! You'll marry Jim!

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Watcher



In Sibiu area (Romania) it's something usual to see such attic windows coming out from the roof, of course speaking about the old houses built about 5-6 centuries ago. They look like eyes that are watching you while you walk around...

Today's joke:

A fella goes into the shower exactly when his wife comes out of the tub. The bell rings instantly. After a short family quarrel about who goes to answer the door, the woman gives up, she covers her body with a towel, goes downstairs and opens the front door. There was Bob, their neighbor. She could not put in a word, because Bob
interrupted her:
- I give you $800 now, if you drop the towel that is covering you.
A little bit surprised, the woman hesitates for a moment, she loosens the towel and remains stark-naked in front of him.
He measures her from head to toe and he holds out eight - $100 bills. Amazed about this story, but happy about her little fortune that she had made in less than 2 minutes, the woman goes upstairs and enters the bathroom again. Her husband, who was still in the shower, asks her:
- Who was it?
- It was Bob, our neighbor.
- Ah, perfect! Has he given you the $800 he owed me?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Louisiana Swamps



Shot taken in the state of Louisiana in the area called "Atchafalaya".

Today's joke:

During the Vietnam war, the Albanian National Council had a special meeting. The president asked his commarades to help their sister-socialist country Vietnam.
-Brothers, every socialist country is helping Vietnam. I think we should do the same, said the prez.
-I propose, said another albanian fella, to send them a tank!
-This is ridiculous, yelled the prez, there are destroyed daily hundreds of tanks and we send only one tank?
-I propose, said another guy, to send 'em two tanks!
-Commarades, let's be serious, there are destroyed daily hundreds of tanks and we send just two tanks?
-I propose, comes with another idea the albanian fella, to send 'em all three tanks!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Butterflies



Another shot from Robertson Stadium.

Today's joke:

Jack asks John:
-Hey Johnny, where from did you get this bike?
-Last night I helped a lady fixing her bike, and when I was done she said "Look, now, as a reward for your help, I gonna take off my panties and you may take whatever you want". And I took the bike...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Happy Frowns



Shot taken at the halftime of the Dynamo's game (vs. Real Salt Lake).

Today's joke:

Two Albanians were chatting:
-Did you hear that we gonna build cars in our country?
-Yes, I heard that! They will have a three gears automatic transmission: slow, very slow, and stop!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Foggy Morning



I took this shot early in the morning in the Shreveport (Louisiana) area.

Today's joke:

Two guys are fishing when one of them catches a fish. He brings it in the boat and as he cuts it open to clean it, a genie pops out and says:
"Thanks for freeing me I will grant you one wish"
The fisherman looks around and says:
"Well, we are almost out of beer, how about you turn this whole damn lake into beer". *POOF* the genie grants his wish and leaves.
His partner slaps him on the chest and says:
"What the hell did you do that for, now we have to piss in the boat!"

Friday, September 11, 2009

Thirsty



She was just hanging around few minutes ago, so I didn't miss the chance to take some shots. Sorry, I don't know how they call this bird...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Journey to a Revolution



Today's post isn't about the picture (even if there it is a picture!), but a book that I recently read it...

First of all I'd like to say few words about this book's author, Michael Korda. He was born in London, UK, in 1933. He was raised in England, but some of his education comes from France, where his father was working with the French film director, Marcel Pagnol. He graduated the Swiss private college Le Rosey, and then he studied at Oxford University. Also he was enrolled in the Royal Air Force. In the 50's he moves to NYC. In 1958 he joined the book publishing firm, Simon & Schuster, starting as an assistant editor, which included the task of reading "slush pile" manuscripts. He went on to become Editor-in-Chief of the company and was a major figure in the book industry, publishing numerous works by high-profile writers and personalities such as William L. Shirer, Will and Ariel Durant, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan. However, from a commercial point of view, Korda is best noted for pioneering novels that in the 1960s were considered as very daring. His authors such as Jacqueline Susann and Harold Robbins produced blockbuster sales with novels that were highly profitable for the company.

Among Korda's better-known books are "Charmed Lives", which was a memoir about his life with his father and uncle, and the novel Queenie, which is a roman a clef about his aunt Merle Oberon. The latter was adapted into a TV miniseries.

Michael Korda is the father of Chris Korda, the leader of the controversial Church of Euthanasia.

Now, returning to the main subject, the book "Journey to a Revolution", because I'm not a critic of literature and I do not intend to analyze nor evaluate the value of this book, I will touch just few "hot" spots that makes me believe that Mr. Korda was taught by Hungarian politicians about the Hungary's history, not from history books.
This book is his adventure to the 1956's Hungarian anti-communist and anti-soviet revolution, and the reason I bought it and read it, it was the book that I read about 30 years ago, a book about the same subject, but written by the communists, and now I had the chance to read the version of someone from the West.
Mr. Korda starts the book by introducing the Hungarian people, to give the readers a better idea about who the Hungarians are - of course, for those who don't know them, or never heard of them - and he is doing a great job, giving a favorable profile even to the former dictator, Miklos Horthy. What else he's doing, is complaining and verbally attacking many times some countries as Slovakia, Poland and Romania. But he doesn't attack Poland and Slovakia as much as he does with Romania, and yes, that hurts me because I'm a man of peace, I have lots of Hungarian friends, either from Romania or Hungary, and we never had anything to argue about territorial disputes or other historical arguments.
Almost anytime when it's about the foreign politics, the name of Romania appears in discussion, and you guessed well, always having to complain about it. So, Romania had stolen Transylvania from Hungary, Dracula was supposed to be Hungarian, not Romanian, Romania invaded Hungary in 1919 (but he doesn't mention the reason why, 'cause actually French-supported Romanian forces helped Horthy to get rid of the Bela Kuhn's Bolsheviks who seized power in Budapest and were terrorizing the Hungarian people), Romania was the reason they entered the WWII, even if they actually were allied! Romania brought sufferings even to the revolution's leader, Imre Nagy, who was kidnapped by Russians from the Yugoslavian embassy and brought to Romania, of course under arrest, until the things in Hungary were calming down - but here Mr. Korda doesn't specify if Imre Nagy was tortured by Romanians or by Russians, he just says that Nagy was tortured in Romania.
Still, it's very interesting how Mr. Korda blanked out the Ribbentrop-Molotov Pact, he doesn't say not even a word about this, about the way the Horthy's troops reacted and treated (or should I say "terrorized"?), starting with the deportation of every caught Jew and ending with the expulsion and massacre of the Romanians who refused to leave their ancestral places. Of course, the reason Mr. Korda was doing so, it was to put his father's origin country in a favorable light, 'cause anyway the book was to be published in U.S.A., not in Romania.
Returning to the topic of the book, the Revolution, its description is done in a very professional manner, with data either from his own experience or from documentation - it is normal not to be ubiquitous across the whole Hungary, and reading those lines, I remembered the days of the Romanian revolution in December '89, and I was wondering what would have happened to us if the Russians were coming with their tanks as they did in Hungary?
Going over the moments of "historical madness" (or you can call "sci-fi moments"), the rest of the book is very interesting, is a captivating book that makes you read it without stopping until you reach the last page, without try to cheating by one, jumping a few pages!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Natural Colors



I took this shot in my cousin's backyard while being in Michigan few days ago.

Today's joke:

Norman and his blonde wife life in Fargo. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say:
"We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the
even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through".
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later, while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says:
"We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today, you must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snow- plow can get through.".
So, Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
The next week they are having breakfast again and the radio announcer says:
"We are expecting 10 -12 inches of snow today, you must park..." then the electricity goes out. Norman's wife says:
"Honey, I don't know what to do..."
Norman says:
"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Frankenmuth




An image from Frankenmuth, MI

Today's joke:

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
Finally the doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
"Breast-fed" she replied.
"Well! , strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Grey Line



Just a shot taken while I was stuck in a 10 miles-long line due to some constructions on freeway I-65...

Friday, August 28, 2009

Thunderstrike





Got some flash lightnings from Kansas City... they were kinda far, but here they are!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Ghost






Last night, while I was trying to capture some lightnings from that terrible thunderstorm that came over Kansas City, instead of capturing those creepy lightnings, I got this creepier image... it looks to me like a ghost!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Warm Rooi



Vir vandag probeer ek 'n bietjie eksperimenteer, net om jou reaksies te sien! Wel, hier gaan ons ... Ek gebruik 'n ander taal en ek wonder of jy weet watter een ... het 'n raai! Hierdie foto is in die agterplaas geneem, was baie blomme van hierdie aard, en natuurlik, verskillende kleure. Dankie vir die besoek!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sacred Heart



Sacred Heart Catholic Church from Galveston, TX

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Clouds and concrete



A quick shot while approaching Houston on route US-59

Friday, August 21, 2009

Fresh Air From the Past




Shot taken in Galveston, TX

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Who's the Boss?



The newcomer Andy and of course Alley...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Population: 0



A shot from a New Mexico's rest area on freeway I-10...

Today's joke:

Three nuns were attending an Astros baseball game. Three men were sitting directly behind. Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns, hoping that they'd get annoyed enough to move to another area.
In a very loud voice, the first guy said:
"I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH. THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE!"
The second guy said also loudly:
"I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA. THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE!"
The third guy said:
"I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO. THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE!"
The mother superior turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice, said:
"Why don't y'all go to hell... there aren't any nuns there!"

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

We Are the Orange!

Three shots from the Houston Dynamo's Sunday game...

We Are the Orange!





Hey, Dynamo just scored... again!





Celebrating the victory






Today's joke:



A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said:
"Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished."
The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a long, high-pitched scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked:
"How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered:
"Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."
The trainer exclaimed:
"That's what finished him off?"
"Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts!"

Monday, August 17, 2009

Driving on the Red Planet



Maybe the picture doesn't reflect the real reddish color that I've encountered. Well, it's not for the first time, but this strange effect I've seen only in Texas, and of course it comes from the reddish sunset, but the main condition to get such an effect is that there must be clouds above you, so the red reflection will give ya the feeling that you're on a sci-fi scene, somewhere on another planet... I must notice that the picture is untouched (no manipulations).
Thanks for stopping by!

Today's joke:

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete d*ck."

Monday, August 10, 2009

Waterlily



That'a just another shot from Frankenmuth, MI - a yellowish waterlily! It's been a while since I was so close to a real waterlily...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

These Colors Don't Run



Another shot from Frankenmuth, MI

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

At Bronner's

Yesterday I had the chance to be pretty close to this german-american town named Frankemuth, and of course I didn't miss the opportunity to visit it once again, starting with the very first objective, "Bronner's" - the largest Christmas store in the world. I'm sure many of you know already about this store, but what you don't know, as well as myself til I got there, now they have international sections, and I was surprised to see a Romanian shelf, or I should say a whole isle of Romanian made Christmas decorations. Along with the Romanian shelf, there were only few more european countries with their own products, like Germany, Poland and Slovakia. For example France has its own shelf, but their products are either made in the U.S.A., either China. God, I'm really tired of these chinese products! Here are some pictures from the Romanian shelf.







Sunday, August 2, 2009

Rough Sea



A shot from Galveston, the day when the ocean was really rough...

Today's joke:

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.
I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.
I played and I played like I'd never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest . As I played the workers began to weep. I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another...
"Sweet Jaysus, Mary 'n Joseph, I have never seen nothin' like that before and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for 22 years."

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Mississippi River (2)



Another shot from my trip along the Mississippi River, this one being from Guttenberg, Iowa.

Today's joke:

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director:
- What is the criteria that defines a patient to be institutionalized?
- Well, said the director, we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.
- Oh, I understand, said the visitor. A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup!
- Noooooooo! answered the director. A normal person would pull the plug!!!